so few have these stolen nights

so few have these stolen nights
returned, the ecstasy and the
worried blasphemy streams in
as guilt filters through; i feel
as a child once again without
my prayers. the religion i sought
banished me day by day as my faith
unraveled like suman in my hands,
no sugar— only sticky rice held
me together. heavy chains held me
down and bound me to their mediocre
spells and sorcery, neither of
which brought me closer to you.
i was long enraged in the silences,
a million anvils pressed against me,
but i didn’t say a word, i didn’t
complain— my suffering will summon
me to your pain. and here i am
disguised in the altitude, hoping
to bring you that much more rain.

poem©mrg 2/15/17