Tag Archives: God

When Love Spirals…

When love spirals, a feeling of being slighted kicks in and resentment follows. That used to be the flow of things, but something about that doesn’t feel quite right anymore. Feeling hurt, feeling slighted somehow doesn’t compliment the spiritually evolving consciousness. For however much we want to just withdraw and forget about the whole relationship, or the beginning of one, there lies that bit of conscience, that intuition whispering it’s not the answer, this is not the end. That despite the hurt or the slight we feel, perhaps it is best to stand aside and let love run its course. Because love is understanding; it is equipped with self-healing properties that, if we trust enough, will mend what is pierced, what is broken. Perhaps, it will heal the person whose pain trickles over to us. If we don’t give in and simply allow love in, maybe there’s a chance for survival… to soar instead of spiraling down.

your love
i’ve searched
beneath the murky
waters where i once
found gold. a nugget,
like early settlers
whose trace of
opportunity lies
in a motherlode.
cake, not. but gold.
necklace, gold. watch.
solid gold time never
runs out, never
depletes, how infinite
energy sometimes when
there is enough light
reserved in one
vessel, a light bulb,
you on a lamp i want
to turn on if you’ll
only let me twist
the switch

mrg©poem 3/27/17

In The Plan, We Trust

Why is there this eagerness to get ahead of God’s plans? The need for us to take control and take over… well, it’s not His style. It was never His style and yet we try to bypass the rules and rush it anyway. It makes me laugh recalling all the times I tried to do this because the follow through and all the things that went wrong with it only returns me to square one where I needed to be in the first place. The world will unfold and everything will happen in accord to His plan, and all He asks is that we adhere to faith and trust that He has a better, well- written story for us to walk on. Despite all the challenges and struggles, the path shall mold us into the better hero or heroine. He usually does have the better story, except we’re always trying to interfere every time we get antsy and impatient.

let me be stricken
down to humble if ever
i try to pass the finish
line before my time.
unfold me away from
all the senseless
rigmarole, the long-
winded and complicated
talk which borders
rumors, fiction based
on cancerous tumors; how
fantastically i become
hideous and tedious
in my expectations
that i rush to end you
even before i can begin…
(i beg)
strike me down to humble.
strip me my pride.
flay me my ego.

poem©mrg 3/13/17

a madness descends

a madness descends in every
thought unforgivable;
the oblivion i must
subject myself to in
order to save you from
the savagery of my obsession.
all the reasons
i don’t want to let go,
but a voice higher
than myself calls
and commands me unlatch
myself from you,
to question no more
the inherent knowledge
through which i thought
everything was leading us to…
only this certainty remains—
from you i must
wholeheartedly refrain

poem©mrg 3/1/17

Patience, If It Were My Virtue

There’s a reason for everything, that much I know. A reason why we missed the bus, why the traffic is so backed up or why there’s a sudden change of plans. I know there’s reason. I think not knowing the reason or waiting years and years for a reason to be revealed is the most irritating part. Why can’t we not know the reason? Now?

So much of patience is still yet to be learned. I think this is the lesson ahead of me. Just when I thought I have this much patience, I find I don’t. It catapults to aggravation without self-control and it becomes this whole ugly mess where I look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. I didn’t know I embodied such a negativity, I didn’t know I had it in me. And so I am brought down a level where it eventually gratifies me to reach an awareness of what it is I haven’t mastered in myself. So I retreat into a silence, this continual contemplation in search of a way to forgive and thereby correct myself. For what good would I be to those around me if I cannot begin to have patience as my virtue?

Patience is a virtue. That’s what they say. However, half the time, I find myself rarely a virtuous person. Though I try as any human being can. I try to be patient. I hope I improve in time.

patience would have me
distance myself from you.
there’s a readiness
not yet in place.
only He knows
and i don’t.
the reasons
you stay away.
i cannot question,
and i fear something
worse may happen
if i begin to doubt…
so everything in His care
i leave, my life and yours
i entrust in Him

poem©mrg 3/1/17

We Are What We Need To Learn

“Often we don’t realize we are what we need to learn.” I wrote this on the comment portion for a poem I posted on Instagram. It was something clever, I thought. But what I didn’t realize, while I was writing it, was how much it would enlighten me now. If we ever doubted why it is we are a certain way, it is because we are exactly what we need to learn here on earth.

Certain days find me amidst reflection. I’m particularly curious about the idea of our soul/spirit living a million lifetimes– to return to earth over and over again, strive for purity in order to achieve ultimate enlightenment. It’s a tall order and yet if this is the process which all of us mortals go through, why is it we complain so much about the misery?

I’m not saying I have it bad. No, at best I’ve been really blessed. I’m surrounded by love and joy on a daily basis and I wouldn’t exchange either of those for anything. And there’s a chance that is exactly the kind of life I asked for because there may be a chance so much sadness was endured from the last life. The obstacles I’ve been given, the kinds of fear I’ve been bequeathed with were exactly what I asked to learn and overcome. Except I forgot. I forgot weaknesses weren’t set, but entities I must embark and improve upon. I forgot my own insecurities were merely what separated me from the bunch and made me that much more unique.

Which brings me to the idea of acceptance. I know I am an embodiment of both positive and negative, of confidence and diffidence, of good and bad. Often, I berate myself too much for the things I am not. What I am not now, perhaps, there is reason. And I don’t want to question it anymore nor do I want to place myself in doubt. Because what I accept today is that I am still a student when it comes to life and I’ve got to keep it humble if I want to learn more about what it needs to teach me. I am what I need to learn… this is what the universe is showing me today. My response to the universe… well, I’m going to try and master me for a change (how about them apples!!!).

what i cannot be
is exactly me
a blessing within
disguised as my own sin…
i stopped rains
and raised the sun
all at once, but
never conceived
myself so powerful
as when i felt the
light of Royalty
reflected upon me,
eternally— so i
can diffuse it all
unto thee

poem©mrg 1/30/17