Regret is a hard thing to misplace. Once there, as it travels the realms of our minds, regret seems difficult to loose altogether even when we want it banished forever. Does that even make sense? Well, yes. Because there are opportunities often bypassed, choices we didn’t make. And what about the people we let go or the ones we didn’t look to?
It’s the latter that bothers me most. It irks, bothers and nags at me. Yes, nags at me like a persistent complaint I cannot escape. Because I looked too late, they left. Because I was way too deep inside a poem, knee-deep in learning a new responsibility, immersed in irrelevant ongoing drama at work, I forgot to look.
And there they were… the person who crosses our path for a reason, whose lessons we missed because we didn’t look. We were too busy scrolling on a touchscreen, too busy engaged in the superficial things that they disappeared from our lives. If we imagined each person a small representation of some world unknown to us, then we missed it.
I missed it completely. Not only their place in this world, but the sound they bring into it, their thoughts and their potential contribution into my world… I wonder how it is they might have enhanced my world? I’ll never know.
“to look is to regret no more”
i kept you in my periphery—
i am sorry.
you seemed a world away,
stripped of sound… your silence
dismissed as no one, and, yet,
you are the only one who matters,
whose ghostly reminders battle i
with swords to slay your memory’s
endless taunts as they stretch my
sanity taut, pinned against
the wall…. i am going crazy,
i know, but no remedy can come
for me when it is your certain
light i miss most at night